Sunday, 25 October 2015
The Salt of the Earth Sebastio Salgado
Saturday, 24 October 2015
Husband's message.Honey, I have been hit by a car outside the office on my way home. Caroline took me to the hospital.
Honey, I have been hit by a car outside the office on my way home. Caroline took me to the hospital. They have done some tests and I have a fractured skull, and have also broken my right leg and may have to have my foot amputated. I also have and some broken ribs but the doctor thinks I will pull through.
Wife's response.
Who is Caroline?
Please listen up ladies. If a man says he is going to repair something at home,
Please listen up ladies. If a man says he is going to repair something at home, there is absolutely no need to keep reminding him about it every 6 months!
Come for the Bull
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost
their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The
redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find
one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She
goes to the market and finds one for $499.
Having only one dollar left,
she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar
per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck
and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word
"comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks,
"How will she know to come
with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies,
"She's a
blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
Friday, 23 October 2015
Thursday, 22 October 2015
I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice.
I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice.
You have my sincerest gondolences.
You have my sincerest gondolences.
Wednesday, 21 October 2015
Tuesday, 20 October 2015
envelope
Vladimir Putin's Syria policy is
among the things that have recently been referred to as "pushing the
envelope". But where did "velop" come from?
In English, "envelop" and similar words to do with covering or containing arrived from France in the Middle Ages. Earlier than that, the origins of the early French word "voloper" are murky - the Latin volvere - meaning to roll - may figure in its ancestry, or possibly a Germanic word related to English "wrap".
About 1390, Chaucer's villainous Pardoner taunts the innkeeper: "For he is moost envoluped in synne." And the carpenter's wife in the Miller's Tale wears something called a "voluper" which seems to have been a white headcloth with tapes attached.
"Envelop" was a favourite word of Edmund Spenser, who wrote in the Faerie Queene (1590) of a mantle "in gold and ermines fair enveloped".
"Develop" (previously "disvelop") came into English later, though French had had it since the 12th Century. It progressed elegantly through meanings to do with unwrapping to discovering what is hidden, to its present use suggesting improving and perfecting something.
In the early 17th Century it could be used for unrolling a banner. In the 18th Century, painter Joshua Reynolds spoke of the skill needed "to delevope the latent principles of our art".
The noun "envelope" was at first any kind of container. The first envelope-making machine for letters was patented in the mid-1840s.
A container is also a boundary. Novelist Arnold Bennett wrote of his desire to "depict the deeper beauty while abiding by the envelope of facts".
And boundaries can be pushed - back, in or out, so that "push the envelope" means extending something beyond its current limits.
Envelopes can be boundaries drawn round families of curves - but any boundary will do. An architectural journal in 1970 referred to windows protruding "to push the building envelope beyond what was technically the building line".
Tom Wolfe's 1979 novel The Right Stuff - about test pilots and the Space Race - used "pushing the outside of the envelope" to refer to taking a plane to its very technical limits. The expression featured heavily in the 1983 film adaptation.
By 1986 William Safire was using the demonstrating the wider use of "push the envelope" in his newspaper column.
Jargon never stands still, and now depictions of what kind of envelope is being pushed can produce remarkable metaphors. This week US animal feed producers were praised for "pushing the forage envelope".
Saturday, 17 October 2015
John comes back quite late from a day at the golf course and his wife asks
John comes back quite late from a day at the golf course and his wife asks,
“What kind of time do you call this?”
“It was terrible dear,” John replies.
“I was playing a round with Harry and suddenly he collapsed and died at the third hole.”
“That must have been awful for you dear.” said John’s wife.
John said “You’re right, it was awful.
Fifteen holes of hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry . . .”
“What kind of time do you call this?”
“It was terrible dear,” John replies.
“I was playing a round with Harry and suddenly he collapsed and died at the third hole.”
“That must have been awful for you dear.” said John’s wife.
John said “You’re right, it was awful.
Fifteen holes of hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry . . .”
Friday, 16 October 2015
The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for...
The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for
low pay and for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions
to the lad, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the
anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer."
The apprentice did just as he told. Now he's the village blacksmith.
Why can't you trust an atom?
Question: Why can't you trust an atom?
Answer: Because they make up everything.
Answer: Because they make up everything.
Thursday, 15 October 2015
Picking up Conkers and collecting them as a boy
Who can walk past a Conker without the strongest of desires to launch it into orbit with a powerful kick! Picking them up and collecting them as a boy. Taking them home and patient;y drilling a hole through the middle. Then inserting an old shoelace, and putting a knot in one end. Then swing the Conker at your opponents Conker and thereby smashing it to bits. The added bonus was missing and whacking them on the knuckles. Great fun!
Sunday, 11 October 2015
Saturday, 10 October 2015
Govt Mule - Warren Haynes Shine on You Crazy Diamond LIVE
Govt Mule - Warren Haynes Shine on You Crazy Diamond LIVE
The Court Of The Crimson King
The Court Of The Crimson King
The rusted chains of prison moons
Are shattered by the sun.
I walk a road, horizons change
The tournament's begun.
The purple piper plays his tune,
The choir softly sing;
Three lullabies in an ancient tongue,
For the court of the crimson king.
The keeper of the city keys
Puts shutters on the dreams.
I wait outside the pilgrim's door
With insufficient schemes.
The black queen chants the funeral march,
The cracked brass bells will ring;
To summon back the fire witch
To the court of the crimson king.
The gardener plants an evergreen
Whilst trampling on a flower.
I chase the wind of a prison ship,
To taste the sweet and sour.
The pattern juggler lifts his hand;
The orchestra begin;
As slowly turns the grinding wheel
In the court of the crimson king.
On soft grey mornings widows cry,
The wise men share a joke.
I run to grasp divining signs
To satisfy the hoax.
The yellow jester does not play
But gently pulls the strings
And smiles as the puppets dance
In the court of the crimson king.
Are shattered by the sun.
I walk a road, horizons change
The tournament's begun.
The purple piper plays his tune,
The choir softly sing;
Three lullabies in an ancient tongue,
For the court of the crimson king.
The keeper of the city keys
Puts shutters on the dreams.
I wait outside the pilgrim's door
With insufficient schemes.
The black queen chants the funeral march,
The cracked brass bells will ring;
To summon back the fire witch
To the court of the crimson king.
The gardener plants an evergreen
Whilst trampling on a flower.
I chase the wind of a prison ship,
To taste the sweet and sour.
The pattern juggler lifts his hand;
The orchestra begin;
As slowly turns the grinding wheel
In the court of the crimson king.
On soft grey mornings widows cry,
The wise men share a joke.
I run to grasp divining signs
To satisfy the hoax.
The yellow jester does not play
But gently pulls the strings
And smiles as the puppets dance
In the court of the crimson king.
Under your toes
Under your toes
and under your feet
there is nothing like warms plates of meat
heat from below
don't you just know
brings an indefinable glow
and aids in the flow
of happiness that's simply neat
so a big thanks to Rome
for wherever I roam
I know as soon as I get home
the warmth from underfloor
will bring relief
and under your feet
there is nothing like warms plates of meat
heat from below
don't you just know
brings an indefinable glow
and aids in the flow
of happiness that's simply neat
so a big thanks to Rome
for wherever I roam
I know as soon as I get home
the warmth from underfloor
will bring relief
'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.''
'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.''
A duck goes into a furniture store and says 'got any duck food?'
A duck goes into a furniture store and says 'got any duck food?'
The guy at the counter says, 'sorry, we don't sell duck food'.
The little duck walks out.
The next day, same duck, same guy. 'Got any duck food?'
'Sorry little duck, I told you yesterday, no duck food here. '
The duck walks out.
Next day, again, 'got any duck food?'
The guy says 'No! we don't sell duck food! and if you come in here again I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor!'
The duck walks out. next day, duck walks in. 'Got any nails? '
The guy says 'what?... no'.
'...got any duck food?'
The guy at the counter says, 'sorry, we don't sell duck food'.
The little duck walks out.
The next day, same duck, same guy. 'Got any duck food?'
'Sorry little duck, I told you yesterday, no duck food here. '
The duck walks out.
Next day, again, 'got any duck food?'
The guy says 'No! we don't sell duck food! and if you come in here again I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor!'
The duck walks out. next day, duck walks in. 'Got any nails? '
The guy says 'what?... no'.
'...got any duck food?'
A man walks into a bookshop and says "I hope you don't have a book on reverse psychology."
A man walks into a bookshop and says "I hope you don't have a book on reverse psychology."
Friday, 9 October 2015
When a vinyl LP was part and parcel of the music experience itself
Back in the day, I enjoyed the simple pleasure of gently sliding record out of its sleeve and inspecting it for dust.
Then holding it at the edges with the tips of my fingers and carefully placing it onto the turntable making sure that I didn't touch the surface. Next bringing my head down to the table level and tilting my head to see that I drop the needle onto the groove.
The satisfaction of hearing the needle drop and get into the groove, waiting for the static like sound as the music waited to start. Lower the stereo cover and retreat to bed or seat and kick back and listen to the sounds. Gone but not together.
Wednesday, 7 October 2015
Fascism
So where were we again, ah yes, the Nazis burnt books then people and thereby attempted to erase knowledge. Mussolini destroyed sartorial elegance with atrocious bad fashion taste, whilst Pol Pot eradicated the educated in Cambodia and Stalin wiped out anybody with the courage to show dissent and economic savvy. Now we have ISIS destroying historically unique sites, the most recent being the Arch of Triumph in Palmyra. And step by step Europe is heading back to the shadows of the past.
Different aims, different uniforms, same old ignorance. With confidence we march into the future, heads held high, flags fluttering and eyes wide open but not seeing.
Different aims, different uniforms, same old ignorance. With confidence we march into the future, heads held high, flags fluttering and eyes wide open but not seeing.
Tuesday, 6 October 2015
Sunday, 4 October 2015
Air France job cuts as pilots reject the option of working longer hours. Unbelievable!
Air France warns of job cuts as pilots say no to longer hours.
Air France plots earn about €208,000 a year to fly an average of two hours a day long haul and one and a half hours short haul.How dare they ask French pilots to extend their long working day just to make the company viable in a very competitive world market!
Saturday, 3 October 2015
Friday, 2 October 2015
Thursday, 1 October 2015
World Vegetarian Day
Whether it’s a moral, dietary, health or lifestyle choice, Whether it’s a moral, dietary, health or lifestyle choice, Vegetarian Day embraces and encourages respect for those who eschew eating meat.embraces and encourages respect for those who eschew eating meat.
Okay as far as it goes but sometime I need meat, give me meat!
But seriously, if we reduce the dairy herds of the world as we reduce our meat production we may reduce global warming, too. May, might and simply perhaps, just pass the meat!!
Okay as far as it goes but sometime I need meat, give me meat!
But seriously, if we reduce the dairy herds of the world as we reduce our meat production we may reduce global warming, too. May, might and simply perhaps, just pass the meat!!
International Music Day
The IMD was initiated in 1975 by Lord Yehudi Menuhin to encourage: the promotion of our musical art among all sections of society and the application of the UNESCO ideals of peace and
friendship between peoples. It is also aimed at the evolution of their cultures, of the
exchange of experience and of the mutual appreciation of their aesthetic
values the promotion of the activities of IMC, its
international member organizations and national committees, as well as
its programme policy in general.
I general just enjoy that which moves you and rocks tour day!
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